


Leave Me with My Sins

by LittleHighLittleLo



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Demon Stiles, Established Relationship, Implied Relationships, Multi, Religious Tones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:51:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleHighLittleLo/pseuds/LittleHighLittleLo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was hard to believe that for a short time no one was happier than Derek Hale was. No one was dying, his pack was bonded together like a pack should be, and at the end of the day Stiles stopped going home and started staying. Until there was a quiet arrival to Beacon Hills in a package of blond hair and blue eyes, and slowly Stiles stopped showing up at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Ran Away, You're All the Same

**Author's Note:**

> I've _lightly_ based a good chunk of this fic off of judeo-christian apocrypha. I'm probably very off on a lot of points, but I've mostly twisted things to fit the plot of the story. Sorry if anything is super wrong!  
>  All chapter titles and main title are from the song Snuff by Slipknot.  
> Beta'd by my wonderful reveriemystique.

Contrary to popular belief, Stiles Stilinski didn’t _actually_ live in Derek’s loft.

 _“Derek, what is this?” Derek’s uncle, Peter, lifted a well-worn sneaker with his pinky. He eyed it like it unlocked a gossipy secret._  
 _“A shoe,” Derek was trying not to play into his game, but Peter’s face did that snarky asshole thing anyway._  
 _“Oh, but not just any shoe, or that is to say, not just_ anyone’s _shoe.”_  
 _“I have a pack of wild teenagers, they leave their stuff everywhere. Just drop it.”_  
 _Behind him Derek heard the shoe fall loudly to the ground._  
 _“Does leaving their stuff everywhere include the Stiles scented clothes in your room too?”_  
 _"I meant drop the subject, not the shoe"_

Stiles carried most of his stuff on him. He got pretty sick of running around to get things like his laptop or books that he constantly needed, so to have things handy he brought his stuff everywhere, including to Derek’s. Eventually, things just stopped leaving with him.  
Not too long after that Stiles just stopped leaving.

_“Aren’t you going home?” Derek looked in the living room to see that Stiles was the last one still there._  
 _“Why would I? I have pajamas in that cupboard over there,” Stiles pointed across the room, “and my computer is on the desk, my cell phone is plugged in in the kitchen. It’d be more of a hassle to leave because I’d basically have to move out.”_  
 _Derek could only sigh._

Stiles Stilinski _basically_ lived in Derek’s loft.

 _“Dude, this place smells more like Stiles than you._ You _smell more like Stiles than you.”_  
 _“Shut up, Scott.”_

It was hard to believe that for a short time no one was happier than Derek was. No one was dying, his pack was bonded together like a pack should be, and Stiles. Stiles, who was one of 3 stupid humans to situate themselves as part of a pack of werewolves, Stiles, who slowly infected everything with his scent, and Stiles, who didn't live with Derek, but over the last 2 years, more mornings than not, could be found waking up in Derek’s bed.

_“I think I love you.” Derek muttered into Stiles hair._  
 _Stiles cracked an eye open to gaze up at him, “Ya think?”_

But then there was a quiet arrival to Beacon Hills in a package of blond hair and blue eyes, and slowly Stiles stopped showing up at all.


	2. I Couldn't Face a Life Without Your Lights

“Derek,” Stiles groaned from the couch, “bring me my drink that’s on the counter. It’s got the bendy straw in it.”  
  
The alpha sighed in return, but brought the glass anyway. “You get significantly lazier when you watch tv.”  
  
“I resent that,”  
  
“I know,”  
  
“Why don’t you just come be lazy with me then?” Stiles wiggled his eyebrows.  
  
“You’re taking up the _entire_ couch.”  
  
“No problem,” Stiles scooted forward to lay on the edge of the couch, leaving a gap behind him that honestly looked too small for Derek to fit, but he went for it anyway snuggling close to his partner and getting comfortable.  
  
“Stiles, you’re nearly 20 years old and you’re watching cartoons.”  
  
“Don’t hate,”  
  
Derek focused on Stiles’s breathing, and occasional laughter, and fell asleep quickly. It couldn’t have been long before he woke up by himself on the couch. Stiles was near the large window talking quietly on his cell, using his arms for emphasis, even over the phone. It sounded like the end of the conversation, although from what he could hear it seemed rushed and maybe… frustrating? He thought he caught the words ‘figure it out’, but as soon as the phone was put away, Stiles turned the charm back on, a smile brightening his face.  
  
“Sorry, that was Scott, he and Deaton want me to meet them at the clinic, so I’m gonna scoot on out.”  
  
He gave the still sleepy Derek a peck on the cheek and made his way out the door.  
  
“Love you. See you tomorrow okay?”  
  
“Yeah, love you too,”  
  
From that phone call on, Stiles only seemed to get stretched thinner and thinner.  
  


  
Some of the pack had being hanging out at Derek's all day for lack of anything else to do, but it was late and nearly time to get home.  
  
“Pack meeting tomorrow night, you going to be here Stiles?” Derek looked over at him for an answer. He was sitting on the couch between Scott and Erica, his legs jittering, and a smile on his face.  
  
“Course, babe,”  
  
"Alright, see you guys tomorrow," He watched as they made their way off the couch and to the door, but Derek grabbed Stiles's arm as he passed by. "You're not staying tonight?"  
  
"Hm? Oh, nah, I'm gonna go spend some time with my dad. He's been making me feel bad about being lonely."  
  
"Okay, see you tomorrow night then."  
  
Stiles looked a little guilty for leaving. "Yeah, sure" He deliberated for a second before looking in Derek's eyes and giving him a quick kiss before ducking out the door. "See you,”  
  
The next night the pack was one person short. And Derek couldn’t help the fact that it hurt that Stiles didn’t even call to say he couldn’t make it.  
  
So Derek addressed the remainder of his pack, “Has anyone been able to identify the scent that’s getting all over town?”  
  
“Not yet, just that it smells… gross.” Scott offered.  
  
“Thanks, but that doesn’t really help us. Let’s start by taking note of any new arrivals in town.”  
  
Isaac looked up, seeming to remember something. “There’s a really sketchy guy with albinism,”  
  
“Being albino makes him sketchy?”  
  
“No, Scott, acting sketchy makes him sketchy.”  
  
“That’s enough,” Interrupted Derek, “Isaac, do you have any kind of information on this guy?”  
  
“Uh, not really, I think his name is Dan, or Daniel or something. But he’s always around at strange hours, doing weirdly unimportant things all the time. I see the guy everywhere, he’s kinda hot.” He shrugged.  
  
“Isaac!”  
  
“Of course, not nearly as hot as you,” Isaac winked at Scott, and Allison rolled her eyes at her boys. These teenagers were going to be the death of Derek.  
  
“See if you guys can’t find anything else out. With all the crap being drawn to Beacon Hills these days, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that _anyone_ new in town isn’t human. Is there anyone else?”  
  
Erica added in, “A new family moved in on my street from San Francisco. They smell like a sewer drainage pipe and cigarettes, but decidedly human.”  
  
“What is it about this scent that’s so bad? What if whatever’s creating it is actually harmless?” Boyd reasoned.  
  
“No, nothing that smells like that can be good. A creature’s organic scent is like an indicator of its own nature, it’s behavior. So for now let’s just assume that any nonhuman that comes through here is a threat until proven otherwise.” Derek was assured that confrontation was always going to be unavoidable, even more so now that he had a pack to call his family, and someone important to protect.  
  


  
Stiles was one of the best things in Derek’s life, and he didn’t even know how it happened. Suddenly he noticed that Stiles was more important than almost everything else. He slowly became an irrevocable part of his universe, the gravitational pull that kept everything else from floating away. He hadn’t officially moved out of his dad’s house, but since graduating he was at Derek’s more often than not. They got used to each other’s constant presence, developed a routine that balanced each other out. Their lives grew into each other and together. So why did it feel like they were starting to grow back apart?  
  
 _“Hey Stiles, it’s me, call me back,”_  
  
 _“It’s Derek, call me back,”_  
  
 _“Stiles, call me,”_  
  
The pack didn't want to believe it when they realized what was happening. Stiles, slowly but surely was removing himself from them. It started with needing to be home more often and a few unreturned phone calls, it was understandable, and things got busy sometimes. Then he missed a few pack meetings, which, let’s face it, happened to everyone now and then. But soon he was never there, not showing up to anything, and almost actively avoiding Derek. The thing was, that it was hard to get too worked up about it, because he really wasn’t doing anything unusual. Derek wanted to get angry, to shout, and growl at the loss, but when talking to him, Stiles just sounded truly apologetic. He’d list a million reasons why he’d love to be there with him, why he would trade his tediously busy days for Derek’s company. The sincerity in his words was what always stopped Derek from going crazy. It was affirmation that Stiles wanted to be with him, want to be with the pack, it was honest and open. It was undeniable. Stiles didn’t enjoy being away from them any more than they did. So what was making things so hard?  
  
"Stiles, I haven't seen you in over a week. What the hell is going on?" Derek finally caught Stiles on the phone after being MIA for a couple days.  
  
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'll come over tonight, I promise." Derek let the silence seep through the conversation a while before Stiles continued. _"I miss you,"_ and those words ripped Derek's bitter resolve to pieces. He sounded heartbroken and lovesick and full of regret.  
  
“I miss you too, just get over here.” Fine, he’d be upset about it later.  
  
It was around 8 when Stiles finally showed up, and he looked… neglected. He was paler than usual, a few pounds lighter, tired. He took care of everybody else, so sometimes when no one was there to remind him he forgot to take care of himself. It was an issue that he and Derek had worked through together. He also looked closed off, like he knew Derek wanted to ask why things were the way they were. Since when did Stiles not want to talk about things? He was never afraid of asking for help, and he was always the first one to offer it. What was going on that was so bad? Why was he carrying on in this silence?  
  
He shuffled around in the kitchen for a while, not really _doing_ anything, before he shuffled up to Derek, looking at him sullenly.  
  
“Stiles-“  
  
“Not tonight, Derek, please, please not tonight.” Stiles interrupted, placing one hand on Derek’s shoulder and the other on his cheek. “I just want to _be_ with you.”  
  
He pulled himself closer to Derek to press their bodies together, lightly kissed the corner of his mouth, and then tucked his face away in the crook of his neck. Derek held him close and walked him over to the bed. He laid back, situating himself among the few pillows there and waited as Derek climbed over him. That was what happened after all the years of physically saving each other’s lives. It was the owing of a debt which they paid willingly with their bodies. And as cliché as it was, they saved each other in other ways too, that created a different kind of debt. This one they paid with their whole beating hearts.  
  
Derek lifted his hand to hover above Stiles’s chest, and Stiles rose to meet him like a flower turning towards the sun. Is that how this fragile human felt about him? Was Derek as much the center of Stiles’s world as Stiles was his? They slowly shed their clothes, kissing and comforting, until Derek was back over him. They had done this so many times, there was no need for words, and the mood was wrong for talking anyway. Derek looked at the brown eyed boy below him and received a nod in answer to an unasked question. The rest was as natural to them as breathing, but it had never been like this before. It had never been so solemn. It felt far away and distracted. Both of them were left in their own headspace. Once Stiles was ready, Derek pushed into him, letting him adjust before building up a slow rhythm. But Stiles seemed to be off in another universe, like his mind had checked out completely and left him pliant in Derek’s hands.  
  
“Stiles,” Brown eyes blinked and became focused, turning towards the gruff voice.  
  
“Sorry, I know, I’m sorry,” It was like a switch was flipped, and the distance turned into desperation and clinging. Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek’s shoulders and didn’t let go. He pushed back against the body above him, and moaned, becoming louder with each movement. It only served to make Derek more frantic, the pace speeding up more and more, until they were both worn out. There was seemingly nothing to say after all that, so they cleaned up in silence. It wasn’t until they were falling asleep that Stiles whispered, “Derek,”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“You know I love you right?” He continued.  
  
“Of course I do.“  
  
“Derek, this is important, alright? I need you to know, that right now, in this moment, I would give my heart and soul to you. I promise that I love you, okay?”  
  
“Stiles, what are you talking about?”  
  
He sounded so serious, like someone who was teetering on the edge of a cliff, but then he turned on that smile, and sarcastic tone of voice and said, “Nothin’, I just really love you is all, and I wanted you to know that I was serious about it.”  
  
“You’re being dramatic.”  
  
“I know, but sometimes you just need to be a _little_ dramatic. To get the point across, _ya’ know?”_  
  
“Maybe _you_ do.”  
  
“Yeah, maybe I do.”  
  
“I love you too, go to sleep Stiles.” They held onto each other tightly as they let sleep carry them off, the night growing deeper and darker.  
  
Derek would give it some time and wait for Stiles to be able to tell him what was going on. They would work it out together, when he was ready.  
  
Stiles didn’t leave the next morning, like Derek had cynically come to expect he would. It was a fairly normal day for the two of them, no rushing for time, or frantic and insecure feelings arising. He stayed till it was nearly dark, just the two of them in their same routine. The difference was, at the end of the night, Stiles didn’t stay, and he didn’t say when he’d be back.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know what this is going to turn into, but please feel free to give feedback!


End file.
